Whilst watching the Superbowl on Sunday, I noticed a few hours in that I didn't even vaguely understand the rules of American Football. To the extent that the following was all uttered during the course of the opening thirty minutes of BBC2's coverage of said American sporting event, and I don't couldn't even take a vague stab at what these things are supposed to mean.
"They are the lowest ever nfc wild-card team to make it to the superbowl"
"You can't buy momentum"
"He has intercepted 71 passes in his career"
"I see guys in their third or fourth here, turning around"
"Plaxico Buresse is a bad boy wide receiver"
"So far he's scored11 catches, 144 yards"
"I want one of them to roll up, tight coverage on the receiver"
"American Idol is essentially an American version of Pop Idol"
"I think they are a basic team of 6 and 5. and that's basically 50/50. and that's a great statistic"
"They can play a sunday night, or a monday night. I don't care if they play on a tuesday night, in the parking lot"
"Tom Kappen said that we know more about them, and they know that we know more about them"
"Pickup around the 45 with a gain of 3"
"He knows Plaxico Buresse is going to be there, just inside the zone"
"They're getting out, mixing it up on the defence, confusing them out"
"Helmet to hammered contact there"
"They've got Jacobs, the speed man, and he's close to the first down"
"He doesn't unlock the right hip"
"Finally the patriots stop the jazz on the giants
I tried to concentrate for the first twenty minutes. My mind wandered shortly after they cut for an ad break when a player fell over, and then I completely lost it when one team was offered three points for doing seemingly fuck all. The commentators keep consistently discussing a player called Tom Brady as if he was superhuman but didn't actually appear at any point to have the ball, and then I called it quits. I didn't see Tom Petty, I didn't see "the upset" and I certainly didn't see the "stunning" final thirty five seconds and what Metro described as "probably the greatest play in the history of the NFL". My response would have probably been "what did he do?"
"They are the lowest ever nfc wild-card team to make it to the superbowl"
"You can't buy momentum"
"He has intercepted 71 passes in his career"
"I see guys in their third or fourth here, turning around"
"Plaxico Buresse is a bad boy wide receiver"
"So far he's scored11 catches, 144 yards"
"I want one of them to roll up, tight coverage on the receiver"
"American Idol is essentially an American version of Pop Idol"
"I think they are a basic team of 6 and 5. and that's basically 50/50. and that's a great statistic"
"They can play a sunday night, or a monday night. I don't care if they play on a tuesday night, in the parking lot"
"Tom Kappen said that we know more about them, and they know that we know more about them"
"Pickup around the 45 with a gain of 3"
"He knows Plaxico Buresse is going to be there, just inside the zone"
"They're getting out, mixing it up on the defence, confusing them out"
"Helmet to hammered contact there"
"They've got Jacobs, the speed man, and he's close to the first down"
"He doesn't unlock the right hip"
"Finally the patriots stop the jazz on the giants
I tried to concentrate for the first twenty minutes. My mind wandered shortly after they cut for an ad break when a player fell over, and then I completely lost it when one team was offered three points for doing seemingly fuck all. The commentators keep consistently discussing a player called Tom Brady as if he was superhuman but didn't actually appear at any point to have the ball, and then I called it quits. I didn't see Tom Petty, I didn't see "the upset" and I certainly didn't see the "stunning" final thirty five seconds and what Metro described as "probably the greatest play in the history of the NFL". My response would have probably been "what did he do?"
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